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by Julie Lythcott-Haims
part 1 : what we're doing now 1. keeping them safe and sound 2. providing opportuinty 3. being there for them 4. succumbing to the college admissions arms race 5. to what end?
part 2 : why we must stop overparenting 6. our kids lack basic life skills 7. they've been psychologically harmed 8. they're becoming "study drug" addicts 9. we're hurting their job prospects 10. overparenting stresses us out, too 11. the college admission process is broken
part 3 : another way THE CORE OF THE SELF ''self-efficacy"(1970) means having the belief in your abilities to complete a task, reach goals, and manage a situation. Give them unstructured time. It is different than self-esteem, which is the belief in one's worth or value. Self-esteem influences self-efficacy, but eff is built by doing the work and seeing that success came from effort. eff is built in large part by the repeated trial-and-error opportunities afforded by childhood. It's in fact what the years we call "childhood" are for in the life of a developing human, what these years have always been for, what these years have always offered until relatively recently when we parents began doing so much of the work of life for our kids. Give them unstructued time teach life skills teach them how to think prepare them for hard work let them chart their own path normalize struggle have a wider mind-set about colleges listen to them
Part 4 : daring to parent differently Reclaim your self Be the parent you want to be
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