1 健忘的人/A Forgetful Man

Tom was tired out, and he went to bed as soon as he reached home.

Suddenly it occurred to him that he had planned to do something that evening. As he could not remember what it was, he tossed and turned in his bed for a long time.

Finally, the thing came to his mind, "My God, the original plan was to go to bed early!" he said depressingly.

汤姆累坏了，一到家就上床睡觉。

忽然，他想起原来晩上计划做一件事，可他想不起来是什么事，他在床上翻来覆去很久。

终于，他想起来了，“上帝，原计划就是早点儿上床睡觉!” 他沮丧说。

2 现在才卖

A man entered a bakery with a loaf of bread, "I bought this bread here, and it tastes bad." "What!" exclaimed the baker. "I've been baking bread for 25 years! "The man replied, "You should have sold it right away!"

一个男人拿着一条面包走进面包店:“这面包是在你这儿买的,味道很糟糕。” “什么，”面包师叫了起来,“ 我已经烤面包25年了。”男人回答说:“那你不应该留到现在才卖呀。”

3 合理的哀伤/A Reasonable Affliction

On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care.

“A different cause,” says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die; His wife, that he may live”.

可怜的鲁宾躺在他临终的床上; 他的妻子陷入绝望; 两人频频啜泣，相对哭啼， 他们都表达着忧伤。

“不同原因，” 狡黠牧师说， “可产生同样结果： 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死; 他老婆，怕他会活。”

4 拍卖会上/At Auction Fair

At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.

The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."

On hearing the news, another chap shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."

拍卖会上，有人丢了一个包，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。”

话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。”

5 太黑了，我根本就看不见

After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”

6 可怜的男人

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.

Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"

The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."

Bartender: "That should make you happy."

The man: "No, the month is up today!"

一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。

酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”

男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。”

酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”

男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。”