1．Which woman? 哪一位女人？
One evening l drove my husband's car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit. When I finally entered the house, I called out. "The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。最后我走进屋里时大声喊道：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
我丈夫抬头看了看，说，“妈妈来了？”
2．Get the kid让小的干吧
A bit of advice for those about to retire. lf you are only 65, never move to ansrUrement community. Everybody else is in their 71s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell, "Get the kid．"
这里想对将要退休的人提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里的人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们会喊，“让小的干吧。”
3．Honey, We've got a little car trouble 咱们的车出了点“小问题”
A wife said to her husband, "We've got trouble with the car; it has water in the carburetor." The husband exclaimed, "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous!" The wife repeated, "I tell you, the car has water in the carburetor. The husband said, "But you don't even know what a carburetor is Where's the car? And the wife replied, "In the swimming pool"
有位太太对先生说：“我们的车子出问题了！化油器进水了。”先生说：“化油器进水？真是荒谬！”太太重复道：“我告诉你，车子的化油墨进水了！”先生说：“可是你连化油器是什么都搞不清楚啊l车子在哪儿？”太太回答：“游泳池里！”
4．The same service 同样的服务
A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor.
有位结婚十年的男人，正向婚姻顾问请教。
"When I was first married, I was very happy. l'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. Now everything's changed. When I come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me."
"新婚时我非常幸福。在市区的商店里累了一天，回到家里，小狗围着我又跑又叫，妻子忙给我拿来拖鞋。现在一切都变了。小狗给我叼来拖鞋，妻子对我又喊又叫。”
"I don't know what you're complaining about, "said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service."
“我不知道你有什么可抱怨的，”顾问说，“你得到的服务还是同样的嘛。”
5．Anxious着急
The wife says to the neighbor: “My husband has not returned all the night: I do not know where he went .It really gives me a hang up!"
妻子对邻居说：“丈夫一晚上都没回家，也不知道他干什么去了，真叫我着急！”
An insider says: "Let it be. Would you know where he went, l dare to say that you would be more anxious."
一个知情人说：“算了，你要知道他干什么去了，我敢说你会更着急。
6．A Pledge誓约
Grandpa was celebrating his l00th birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked.” I‘ll tell you the secret, "he said. "My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who proved wrong would go out and take a walk. I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years."
爷爷过一百岁生日，大家都祝贺他，说他看上去很健康。"我来告诉你们这里面的秘密，"他说.”我和妻子结婚七十五年了。在新婚之夜我们订了一个誓约，那就是无论我们什么时候发生争吵，谁被证明错了，谁就到外面去散一圈步，我已经在外面一待了七十五年了。”
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