人非圣贤,那就做个瞎眼妻子耳聋丈夫
文章来源: 高英姬2009-04-17 21:49:40


无聊了就泡网,盲目如一只无头苍蝇,满世界乱窜,不经意中撞到一个题为《葬礼》的视屏。刚开始还有点忌讳,犹豫了一会挣扎了一番,最终破除迷信解放思想,其实是好奇心作祟,点击进去看个究竟,到底哪位不幸作古了。

先是女主人对已故丈夫生活糗事的回顾让人忍俊不禁开怀大笑,但随着女主人的娓娓道来,那催人泪下的肺腑之言震撼人心。不知感动为何物的我被感动得稀里哗啦,一副铁石心肠被感化得软不邋遢,‘泪飞顿作倾盆雨,瓢泼直下三千尺’。

(胡诌:后院有堵断墙,好像更支离破碎了,不过是岁月洗礼的作品,非我所为。)

《Funeral》是新加坡的公益广告,非常感人,不可错过(原文附后)


男主人不幸被病魔夺走生命。追悼会上,本应大张旗鼓为逝者歌功颂德,高调历数丰功伟绩,盖棺定论,但出人意外,女主人浓墨重彩、淋漓尽致描绘的却是其爱人生前雷霆万钧的鼾声和惊天动地的屁声。

女主人化腐朽为神奇,在她耳里,令人厌烦的鼾声不是单纯的鼾声,令人恶心的屁声也不是简单的屁声,那是爱人拨响生命的最美妙的音符,是爱人谱写生命的最动听的旋律。

《情人》作者杜拉斯说过 :男人,除非女人很爱他,否则,很难忍受。由此可见,女主人对亡夫的爱可圈可点,鼾声,屁声,声声入耳。

这份独具一格的刻骨铭心的回忆,展示了另一片天地:生活中,毫不动人的甚至是俗不可耐的片段可以演绎成最温馨的篇章; 平平淡淡甚至是索然无味的日子可以定格成最亮丽的风景。

多么难能可贵啊!爱一个人,不仅仅优点,连带着各种缺点毛病兼收并蓄,呵护有加。

(胡诌:‘嫁鸡随鸡,嫁狗随狗,嫁给猴子满山走,嫁个板凳抱着走’。嫁了有狐臭的,权当喷洒了古龙或夏奈尔, Mmm,沁人心脾,引人入胜。)

追悼会上,女主人最后发出振聋发聩的最强音:Little imperfections make them perfect !不完美才是完美!

眼里噙着感动的泪花,咀嚼品味着女主人对人生感悟的真谛,我唏嘘不已,思绪万千。

记得英国心理学家蒙台涅说过一句颇具冲击力和震撼力的牛言:“一桩完美的婚姻存在于瞎眼妻子和耳聋丈夫之间。”,  是不是与Little imperfections make them perfect 多少有异曲同工、殊途同归之处?

茫茫人海、滚滚红尘,也许上天安排,也许千年修炼,也许不解之缘,也许复也许,两个不同环境下成长,有着不同经历不同个性的陌路人相逢了,两颗心灵相碰了,如茫茫宇宙,两颗行星相撞了。

伴着入心入骨的爱的进行曲,念着‘执子之手,与子偕老’八字真言,走进婚姻殿堂。

从此,两个冤家亲密无间,耳鬓厮磨,唇齿相依。同在一栋屋里‘赤诚相见’,同在一口锅里‘胡搅蛮缠’,同在一张床上‘摸爬滚打’,实打实的同一战壕里的‘占有’了。

千百年修来的因果啊,才换来今生的同船渡共枕眠。

距离产生美。没了距离,彼此本性一览无余,缺点暴露无遗,恶习层出不穷。原本如童话世界里完美如诗的才子佳人变质了,在现实世界里判若两人,匪夷所思、面目可憎,不尽人意十之八九。

相爱容易相处难。

追求完美不是错,但俗话都曰:人非圣贤,孰能无过。

当年唐僧师徒四人西天取经,行程两万五千里,爬火山过莽地战群魔,风餐露宿,风雨兼程,历经九九八十一难。最后一劫,经文落水。师徒四人奋力打捞晾晒,由于八戒毛手毛脚导致经文破损。唐僧心痛不已,追悔莫及。孙悟空发表高论为师弟开脱, 同时慰藉师傅:“盖天地本不全,经文又何全之有,天意也。”

那谁谁谁也高屋建瓴:“天有不测风云,月有阴晴圆缺,此事古难全。”

日月天地都有缺陷,神仙也难求十全十美,何况人乎? 

每个人都有自己的长处,每个人都有自己的短处。既然没有完美的人,何不用包容的眼光,宽容的心态,去接受一个不完美的人,去欣赏一个不完美的人?况且己乃芸芸众生一分子,何苦标榜自己为圣人?

如视屏《葬礼》里的女主人, 对于亡夫生前炸雷般的鼾声和屁声,平静地对待,理智地化解,睿智地经营,彰显出深沉含蓄之美,情深意切之境。 否则,若过于计较苛求,上纲上线,鸡毛蒜皮能引发家庭大战,芝麻琐事能升级到人格道德……其后果可想而知。

夫妻之间,对彼此一些无关紧要的缺点和毛病,装聋作哑、睁只眼闭只眼应为上策。如果放大镜、显微镜、照妖镜等十八般兵器齐上阵, 搞不好上帝都要败下阵。

Little imperfections make them perfect,这才最实在、最真切!

常言说得好:金无足赤,人无完人。

(揭发:吾乃语言上的巨人,行动上的矮子,深受Easier said than done流毒之害,已不可救药。 )

(Text 供参考,有误请指正)

I'm not going to sing  praise to my late husband, not today. Neither will I talk about how good he was. Enough people has done that here. Instead,I want to talk about some things would make some of you feel a bit uncomfortable. First off, I want to talk about what happened in bed.

Everyone has difficulty  starting your car engine in the morning. Horrrrr Kaaaaaa Keeeeee Horrrrr Gaaaaaa. That's exactly what David snoring sounded like.

But wait, snoring wasn't everything.There was also this rear end wind action going on as well. Some nights it would be so forceful, it would wake him up. "What was that?" he would ask. "Oh, it's the dog. " I would say. "Go back to sleep dear. "

All you might find  these all  very funny, but toward the end of his life,when his illness was at his worst, these sounds indicated to me that my David was still alive. And I wouldn't give just to hear those sounds again before I sleep.

In the end, it is these small things you remember, the little imperfections that make them perfect for you. So to my beautiful children, I hope one day you too find yourselves life partners who are as beautifully imperfect as your father was to me.