同博们,我的I am Mei Ling (1) 又全部更新了。最近一段时间,我又对它进行了多次的修改。一个重大的改动的地方,是我让Mei Ling长了一岁,从kindergarten 变成了grade one的学生,如Mei Ling只要六岁的话,显得有点太聪明了,现在我让她是七岁。另一个重大改动的地方,是有一些比较难的词、小孩可能不知道的词,我放弃不用,改用其它的词。考虑到二、四行压韵和每一段四行的音节syllable数要相同或相近,词的选则上受限制较大。
举几个修改的例子,
(79) (old) It was my very second day In Canada, with Mom and Dad. When I woke up in the basement, I felt inexplicably bad. Inexplicably 一词较抽象,以前之所以选用它,是因为它有5个音节,in·ex·pli·ca·ble,四句话的音节数就都是8。这次,我把它换掉了。 (new) It was myvery second day In Canada,with Mom and Dad. When I wokeup in the basement, I, Mei Ling,felt terribly bad. (96) (old) We quickly walked out of the dark room. A baby murmur, I clearly heard. I knew there was a small baby here. Last night, a baby's crying occurred. 以前为了和heard压韵选用了Occurred一词,但此词小孩不大用。 (new) We quickly walked out of the dark room. I saw a small baby, with delight. I knew there was a small baby here. I heard a baby's crying last night. (99) (old) Unexpectedly, she fell down. Mom and I stood worryingly. The baby slowly stood up and Even came happily to me. Worryingly和me虽然压韵,但不理想。 (new) Unexpectedly, she fell down. Mom and I worryingly stood. The baby slowly stood up and Came to me as fast as she could. (165) (old) At long last, the snow stopped. A minute, I couldn't wait. I put my winter coat on. I was first out the gate. A minute, I couldn't wait.一句倒装。 (new) At long last, the snow stopped. I couldn't wait anymore. I put my winter coat on. I was first out the door. (132) (old) The big dog slowly got up, Swaggeringly, coming to me. I was so terrified that At once, I started to flee. Swaggeringly一词,我很喜欢,放在这里很形象、生动。但小孩不大用它,只好忍痛放弃了。 (new) The dog's tail impatiantly shook. He slowly stood, coming to me. I was so terrified that At once, I started to flee. |