睿智女人的一生似乎注定要和男人,酒精与死亡纠缠不休。 桃乐茜帕克------诗人,作家,评论家,社会活动家,疑似共产党员。可让她名垂青史的,却是她的睿智。这个睿智女人,结婚三次,其中有两次是同一个男人,而这个男人还是个双性恋,二战期间在欧洲还有婚外情,最后还因药物过量身亡。她嗜好杯中物,几次自杀未遂。和第一任丈夫结婚怀孕后,她篡改了一句成语(put all my eggs in one basket)来调侃自己,说, “我把所有的卵子都给了一个狗杂种,真是活该!” ( It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.) 她择偶的标准十分另类: “我对男人的要求只有三点:他必须长得帅,心狠手辣,头脑简单。” ( I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. ) 她选择了一位双性恋的丈夫,原来她对异性恋有自己的独到见解: “异性恋并非正常,普遍而已。” (Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common. ) 而她自己在婚姻之间隙也不是省油的灯: All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. (我只需要有地方可以放上我的帽子和上几个朋友就行。) “他和我共用的办公室如此窄小,再窄一寸就酿成通奸啦。” (He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery. ) 因为她对世风日下已经见怪不怪了: “如果参加耶鲁毕业舞会的所有女生挨个被睡过,谁也不会感到奇怪。” (If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. ) 作为文人,她最深明简练是睿智之魂的道理(Brevity is the soul of wit),并把该道理发扬光大到女性内衣上来: “女性内衣的精髓就是简约。” (Brevity is the soul of lingerie.) 她靠着爬格子挣钱,当然知道金钱的可贵: “金钱买不来健康。可我不在乎坐在镶满钻石的轮椅上。” (Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair. ) “英语里面最美丽的两个词汇是:“内附支票”。” (The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.' ) “把奢侈生活搞定了,日常生活自会搞定自己。” ( Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. ) “薪水不是我的目标。我要的只不过有足够的钱让灵肉分离而已。” (Salary is no object; I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. ) 嗜酒如命的她,知道女人贪杯的危险何在: “我想来杯马蒂尼,最多也就两杯齐,三杯之后钻桌底,再喝就被主人骑。” ( I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. ) 对人间的良辰美景,春花秋月,她已经波澜不兴: “夏日催人眠,秋色令我吟。冬景不堪看,春色恨绵绵。” (Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, But I hate Spring.) 她希望她的墓碑上这么写着:
“无论她去何方,包括此地,都有悖她的英明决断。”
(Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.)
在她面前,连死神都显得很弱智。 |