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What a woman says, what she really means... I need = I want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain (看过Jamie Foxx主演的电影Breakin’ All the Rules(2004)的人,一定知道 We need to talk = Break up) Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS (PMS=Premenstrual Syndrome) Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper... I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep (Attention, attention & attention!!!) Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. (这意味着一个小时或更久都可能,所以当你听到这句话时,千万别急) Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful (butt =bum =ass) You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry I was wrong = Not as wrong as you Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!
What a man says, what he really means... I'm hungry = I'm hungry I'm tired = I'm tired Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! (指胸间) You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now? You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different! I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!
这也是一个笑话(我们在必要的地方做了注解,让你笑的声音能更大些)。
对西方语言学有研究的朋友一定知道,任何文字都有两层的意思,一个是denotation,另外一个是connotation。Denotation指的是字面上的意思,而connotation则说的是隐含的意义,通常才是人真正想表达的意思。Denotation和Connotation有时候表达的意思是完全相同的,有时候两者之间有相当的反差。此时你如果只听懂了denotation,往往对语言只领会了其中一部分,甚至可能是很小的一部分而已,因此这样很容易产生误解或误会。这个笑话其实就是一个好的例子。
虽然是个笑话,不可否认,其中对connotation的解释和现实生活中的男女的实际想法,有相当一部分是非常吻合的。男女之间的对话,有往往带有很强的connotation。不管是男人或女人,如果是赤裸裸地完全说出来自己心中的话,难免会让自己难堪或伤了彼此的和气,最后搞的不是不欢而散,就是大吵一架。即便男人和女人讲同样的一句话,各自想表达的意思也可能大不相同。如果你依然不懂这一点,不管你的条件再好,在感情上受挫的机会还是非常大。
要真正解决这个问题,最重要的是要学会聆听,做一个好的listener,用心去沟通,当然不是像笑话里面说的那样(见斜线文字)。
So until next time,你知道了,其实男人也是比较含蓄的动物。
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