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it is not a good day. it is not even a good week. everything seems to be messy and against me.
i don't know what i am expecting. i don't even know what kind of result that will give me a moment of peace.
it is my own weakness that is eating me alive. i am scared of all of them.
why don't i just do the best i could to make them happy? maybe i will feel so if i do so.
but why i alway feel angry? i don't know. i can't blame on any other one, not him, not her, not her either. they are all just thinking for their own benefits. and there is nothing wrong with doing so. blaming on other people is just a human nature. i guess i am the same. otherwise i wouldn't feel this way now.
there is nothing wrong if he thinks it is not fare. on the other hand, what is fare, one can't ask all other people to hold the same value and the same standard as one itself. if they are asking for too much, why can't i just yield?
but it is true that after all, he has the right to do so too. why the two have to push it to the limit?
i don't know. i don't know what i should do.
i felt sad, i felt angry. now i feel everything i do just does not make any sense to any people. what a pity. and it still bothers me. what a fool.
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