从迎来第一场雪的兴奋到今年不寻常的过于频繁落雪的埋怨 ,同事们因为知道我从加州搬来不久,常和我开玩笑怎么没把加州阳光带来? 一场雪接一场雪,隔壁办公室的同事给我寄来下面的故事,我读完哈哈大笑, 翻成中文如下: 搬去新泽西 八月十五号: 搬到新泽西。哇, 如此美丽!北望湖水,如此壮观!等不及看到湖面被白雪覆盖的样子,我会爱上这里。 十月十四号 泽西毫无疑义是世界是最美的地方。树上的树叶开始变得红橘相间。在公园里漫步时看见几只优雅的鹿,它们真是这个地球上最奇妙的动物。这里像个天堂,我爱死了这里!
十一月十号 猎鹿的季节就要开始了。我难以想象竟然有人会射杀这种高贵的动物。我希望早点儿下雪。我热爱这片土地。 那些红红黄黄的落叶已经像一块杂色的地毯铺在我家的后院。美丽极了!清理院子成了在清新凉爽的的空气中锻炼身体的机会。 十一月十五号
啊,更多的落叶,更多的运动和锻炼。 十一月十八号 我的上帝啊!怎么还有这么多树叶啊!还是等到他们全落完再清理吧。 十一月二十五号 终于等到这一天树上所有的叶子都落了下来。今天终于清理完毕。 我的脊椎科医生建议我明年最好请一位花园工。 我手上有四个水泡感染了,唉,也许应该记着戴手套。
十一月三十号
真TMD的见鬼了!这许多树叶从哪里来的?昨晚只不过刮了点小风,今天草坪就被它们覆盖了。哦,让它们(树叶)呆在那儿到明年春天吧。 十二月十三号 昨晚终于下雪了!当我醒来时发现整个世界披上一层白色的毯子。窗外的风景像一张明信片。我们出去铲雪清理了走道和车道还打了雪仗。 铲雪车过来了,大概我们还得把车道的尽头的余雪再铲一次。 多美的地方啊!我爱泽西! 十二月十四号 昨晚又下雪了!我好开心哦!铲雪车又把积雪弄到我们的车道上了。 但是,我还是很喜欢这里。
十二月十八号 昨晚又下雪了!车道上都是雪,我出不去了,无法去上班。
我厌倦了铲雪。去TMD的铲雪车。 十二月二十二号 昨晚又TMD下雪了!好像又回到与落叶奋战那样,我的双手如今到处都是铲雪铲出来的水泡。我总是忘了戴手套。我想那个见鬼的铲雪车就躲在我家附近的某个角落,一等到我把车道的雪铲完,他就出现了!真 TNND! 十二月二十五号 圣诞快乐! 更多该死的雪!如果那个开铲雪车的人落在我的手里,我发誓我一定宰了那个婊子养得他!
真搞不懂他们为什么不多撒点盐把那路上的鬼雪融化了。 十二月二十七号
昨晚又TMD下雪了!除了铲车道上的雪几乎足不出户。手套铲雪都铲湿了,我的手长了冻疮。医生说还好不严重,很快就会好的。我们根本出不了家门,车子都陷在雪里。天气预报说今晚还要降大约十英寸的雪,你知道十英寸的雪要铲多少雪锹吗?
十二月二十八号
那个鬼天气预报根本不准!雪下了34英寸!照这样下去,积雪大概要到夏天才能全部消融。铲雪车被困在路当中了,那个龟儿子竟然问我借雪锹。我告诉他我已经因为铲雪损坏了六把雪锹,谁知这最后一把也毁在他的手里! 一月四号 今天终以可以走出家门了!去商店里买了一些食物,却在回家的路上,我的车被一头鹿迎头撞上。 三千美金的损失!这该死的鹿!真希望它们十一月份猎鹿的季节中全部被猎人杀光! 五月三号
把车开的修理行。车子被一个冬天路上撒的鬼盐腐蚀得面目全非千疮百孔。
五月十号
搬去弗罗里达的村落。我不能想象任何精神正常的人要住在这被老天都遗弃的新泽西!
读完上面的文字,我乐不可支,我的美国同事问我有没有同感,我说对于秋天的美丽和落叶的折磨,还真是感同身受,今天的冬雪尤其得多,我倒没有文章的作者反映那么强烈,从不敢在雪地里开车到无所畏惧,我也经历了许多“惊险”的体验!不过我问这位在新泽西住了一辈子的美国人,他怎么看,为什么还住在这里?他说他生在此长在此,早已习惯!这里是他的家!他问我有一天会不会像文章的作者搬到弗罗里达去?我哈哈大笑回答:“要搬,我也不去弗州!那里的飓风太多吓人!我还是回我的加州去!”同事也哈哈一笑说:“加州整天地震,我也怕怕!”嘿嘿,真可谓萝卜青菜,各有所爱吧!
Moved to New Jersey August 15 - Moved to a new home in Jersey . It's so beautiful here. The lake to the north looks so majestic. I can hardly wait to see it snow covered. I'm going to love it here. October 14 I Jersey is definitely the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the park and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE. November 10 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal, hope it will snow soon. I love it here. Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool crisp air. November 15 - Ah, more leaves and more exercise. November 18 - Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to wait until they've all fallen before I rake again. November 25 - Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and today's final raking it's over for this season. Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year. Only four blisters became infected. Should probably remember to use gloves. November 30 - What the f--k? Where did all of those leaves come from? A little wind last night and the lawn is covered again. Oh well, they'll just have to wait until spring. December 12 - It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. Had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by and we had to shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I Love Jersey December 14 - More snow last night, I love it. The snowplow did his trick to the driveway again. I Love it here. December 19 - More snow again last night. Can't get out of the driveway to get to work. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F---ing snowplow. December 22 - More of that white sh-t fell again last night. As if dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough, now I've got blisters all over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear gloves. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm finished shoveling the driveway. The a--hole. December 25 - Merry Christmas. More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow. I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the f---ing ice. December 27 - More white sh-t last night. Have been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through every time. F---ing gloves got wet and then froze on my hands. Doctor said it was just a mild case of frostbite, disfiguration is probably only temporary. Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white sh-t. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the sh-t tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is? December 28 - The f---ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white sh-t. At this rate it won't melt 'till summer. The plow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door and asked to borrow a shovel. After I told him I'd already broken six of them shoveling all the sh-t he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on his f---ing head. January 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back I hit a damned deer that ran in front of my car. Did about $3000 damage. F---ing beast should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November. May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out from all the f---ing salt they put all over the roads. May 10 - Moved to The Villages in Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of New Jersey |